ghostytrainer: (let's go hero mode!)
John Egbert ([personal profile] ghostytrainer) wrote in [personal profile] timelymaid 2013-08-26 02:55 am (UTC)

text; 8/18 sometime in the afternoon

oh karkat had some very choice words to say in the matter.
when he found out, which he did.
and i guess that's kind of what makes the whole thing worse?
because i was really terrible in the beginning, predictably. i had no idea what i was doing and i didn't really even have the proper feelings to back things up.
so he ended up telling me off and from that point on i really tried to pull my act together.
and i must have, because after she left?
he told me that i did a really good job. that the two of us were a good match.
that i FINALLY FUCKING GOT IT.
and i agreed. i thought i understood.
i thought she'd managed to teach me how to feel those sorts of things.

now i can't help but sit here and think i'm back at square one.
that i don't understand and i never will because humans can't fit into quadrants.
but i'm done with all that. talked into it or otherwise.
i just didn't want to break her heart twice.
ultimately, that's why i caved. because she really did have a thing for me but by the time she actually told me, it was too late.
i didn't want to turn her down twice.

but you aren't sucking at this.
you actually have a good point. several, actually.
so it does make sense, and thank you. :)
in this case it just feels like the mistake i made...was a really big one.
and it's kind of hard to come to terms with it. because what does that say about me as a person?
that it took me THAT long to catch on.
especially when i had people like karkat and dave flat out telling me from the start that i was making a mistake...

but ok what is your important halloween related question.
i will hopefully have an important halloween related answer.

(that might be for the best because...i have no idea how you would even ask something like that.)

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